Hello Tearaway reader-people, meet my very first published article ever! Isn’t it cute? I think I’ll call it Eddie and dress it up in clothes as new and adorable as it is!

Sarcasm aside, I’d like to welcome you all to the cavernous and somewhat cluttered tunnel system that is my mind.

You’re here because you like to explore new places, but you’ve probably never explored a mind before. So welcome to mine, and the thoughts and opinions inside it.

You might be wondering who your guide is and why her opinions matter so much that they get their own segment. You’d be right, too, because my views are not any more important than anyone else’s. However, they are very strong and different to most others.

My name is Mackenzie, I am 15 years old, and I have Asperger’s.

Depending on the person, having Asperger’s can mean different things. For me, it just means I am hypersensitive to stimuli (touch, sound, etc), my emotions, and the emotions of other people around me. I hate injustice and unfairness to the point of obsession, and I won’t outright lie to you on purpose. I don’t understand everything that other people do. Otherwise, I am totally normal.

Hopefully, from now on we shall meet back here every fortnight to push deeper into the workings of the world from my standing. My view on the world is complicated, so hold on to the rope and listen carefully to the instructions, because you’re in for a ride. This is Your Guide to My View of The Universe. Believe me, you are going to need it.

I thought for a while what my first subject for this column would be. I wanted it to be short this time, but interesting. I want all my topics to be about normal stuff, so I won’t go on a massive rant full of science garble.

It should be along the lines of schoolwork, family, other teenagers – you know, just stuff we deal with. If anyone wants to contribute a topic, such as ‘sibling rivalry’, ‘parental problems’, ‘the school curriculum’, or even ‘pets’, don’t hesitate to send in your suggestion. Help is always appreciated – except when it’s not.

I did finally find a subject, though: Saying what you mean.

It may seem obvious, but everyone should say exactly what they mean. But people don’t.

The idea occurred to me during the last episode of The Middle, in which Axl’s girlfriend Devin claimed to hate Valentine’s Day. She said she didn’t want to celebrate it at all, but then Axl’s roommate advised him that all girls love Valentine’s, and that Axl should go all out for the occasion.

In the end, Axl compromised by getting his girlfriend her favourite food and a bouncy house the day before Valentine’s, saying it was National Radio Appreciation day. She was very happy with this arrangement, so the program left them bouncing into the sunset.

And yes, I am aware that TV2 hasn’t had The Middle on for ages now, but I started writing this a long time ago.

But I digress. Axl could not know what Devin was actually thinking, and he was very lucky his compromise worked. A lot of people say they do or don’t want something, when really they mean the opposite.

You know who you are. You expect people to know what you really want when it’s impossible. The “do I look fat in this?” question fits in here. When you ask this, do you want the truth? If I lie, will you kill me later? Or are you so contrary that I will get slammed no matter what I choose? If you insist upon the truth, do you really mean it? Why do you have to ask a question you know causes so much pain?

People, if you ask / want something, be truthful. Make sure you really want the answer before you ask. Don’t ask for something you don’t want just to spite the other person. Please don’t lie. It’s contrary and there does not seem to be any point, unless of course you enjoy getting furious and ruining relationships.

I mean, you might, you never know. There are all sorts out there.

If this is the case for you, go find others like you and leave us poor, unsuspecting, and (mostly) innocent bystanders out of it. We beg you, PLEASE! Let’s stop hurting each other, and be ourselves.

I could go on, but I’ll leave ‘being something you’re not’ to next fortnight. Remember, you can give me relevant abstract ideas at any time.

That’s all for now, so sayonara! See you next fortnight. Goodbye. Loved having you, truly. Don’t trip on the way out. Byeee!

*Slams tunnel entrance shut behind you while giving a very audible sigh of relief*

See what I mean? Saying the opposite of what you mean confuses people, and is not nice at all. The fact you could tell my true meaning really isn’t the point.

Acknowledgments: I would like to dedicate Eddie here to my English teacher of eight months, David Green, who helped me with this piece in no way whatsoever, but demanded an honourable mention anyway. Please note that this dedication is in writing only. Eddie’s my baby! All mine!