By DYLAN GOWAN.

Every Kiwi knows (and either loves or loathes) the Beaurepaires Christmas ad, where Vince Martin steps through the doors of his mid-to-late ‘90s tyre showroom into a magnificent winter wonderland and breaks into song with that deep, gravely, Australian-accented voice.

I swear it won’t be long until Father Christmas gets the boot and we start telling children that it’s Vince Martin that delivers all the presents to the good kids, and for the bad ones he leaves a used tyre with less than 1.5mm of tread.

So, without further ado, here are seven reasons why the Beaurepaires Christmas commercial is the best in the world.

#1. The Centre Point of the Commercial is Winter

In the western world, Christmas is always associated with winter. That makes it tricky for us western folk down in the south. We embrace the fact that Christmas falls in the middle of summer by having barbecues and spending our days down at the beach or the river. But there is always that little part of us that would like to experience a white Christmas. Vince Martin makes that dream a reality.

 

#2. Vince Martin’s Showmanship

Vince Martin is right up there with Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby. Michael Bublè could definitely learn a thing or two from Martin’s outstanding performance in the commercial. I particularly like the little snow flick he does there in the middle. Thrilling.

 

#3. That Bird is the Real MVP

When I was a kid that flying cartoon bird that perches itself on Vince’s hand made me feel like I was watching a Disney movie. A short Disney film that’s underlying purpose is to sell tyres. True story.

 

#4. The Set

I am in constant awe of that set. But I am also quite confused. The houses are so small. Is Vince, like, a giant? Does he rule his small minions with an iron fist? Or is he Santa Claus and is that where the elves live? I just don’t know.

 

#5. The Back-Up Singers

Which leads to another question. If Vince Martin really is Santa Claus, does that make the back-up singers his wives? Are they all Mrs. Claus? Or maybe it is like a Bachelor situation and they are all vying for the final rose to become Mrs. Claus/Martin. Regardless, this commercial would be nothing without them.

 

#6. The Fireworks

As if this ad isn’t incredible as it is, they go and throw some fireworks in for good measure. I don’t understand what fireworks have to do with Christmas, but it’s this kind of laissez–faire approach to the ad that makes it an absolute winner.

 

#7. The Wink

Just as the commercial comes to a close and you are sitting there wishing you could bathe in it forever, Vince shoots you a cheeky wink and you just don’t know what to do with yourself.

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